Turns out Gratitude Practices can Reduce Stress—who knew?
I know, I know, it kinda cheapens the authenticity of a "Gratitude Practice" when you sell it as a stress reducer—but, hey, if the shoe fits!
When I was a kid, I remember our dad saying Grace before dinner every night. For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful. For these and all thy blessings. Amen. Wow, can’t believe how easily that came back—haven’t thought of it in over forty years. Regardless, it was the rhythm of our family dinners. And every time dad finished, like dogs who had heard a bell ring, we’d pick up our forks and dig in.
I can’t speak for my siblings, but in my case, I never paid much attention to the meaning behind what dad had just shared, let alone why he had. For me, it was simply some religious stuff that adults did, and I was happy to go along. Besides, it was too complicated for me to care or even want to talk about—I was good with that.
Today, we have a similar pre-meal rhythm that we’ve practiced for years now. Except, we don’t call it ‘Grace’—in fact, I don’t even know what we do call it? Giving thanks. Sharing gratitude—it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we don’t start eating until everyone at the table has shared what they’re grateful for. It can be one thing or several—there are no rules.
Sometimes, the happenings of the day determine what gets airtime. And then you have the regulars, such as family, the dogs, our home and gardens, and our health. Simple things that on one hand seem obvious, but on the other hand, when one stops and genuinely reflects on them, wow, that’s a moment if you play it right!
When it’s my turn and I sort through my list, I try to think about the why behind the gratitude. Just as the title suggests, doing that calms me, and it raises my awareness, reminding me of what my day looked like and who or what touched me—I like that.
Now, if I’m honest, when I was in my twenties, would I have ever paused before dinner and “shared gratitude?” Not a chance. For one, I would’ve considered it too fluffy, and second, I was too busy hammering through my days to stop and appreciate all the many blessings in my life. Besides, there was too much chasing going on to ever slow down and acknowledge what I had—material or otherwise. I hadn’t gotten what I was after yet, so there was no need to be satisfied with where I was or what I had.
Today, I have a deeper understanding of the reasons, benefits, and impact of a Gratitude Practice. Do I indulge to reduce my stress? No, not really—but I do feel more present when I pause to give thanks. My big reason is that it just seems like the right thing to do. In the same way, if a stranger held a door open for me, I would say thank you. Why? Because someone just did something thoughtful and nice for me.
Same deal when I sit down to dinner. Every day gets filled up with gifts—every single day, it never fails. And I want to take a moment to acknowledge those gifts. Doing so allows me the opportunity to revel in just how fortunate I am. To relive them one more time, slow them down, and truly appreciate just how good I’ve got it—I like that, too.
FIVE WAYS TO UTILIZE A GRATITUDE PRACTICE TO HELP REDUCE STRESS:
Three Good Things (3GT) Exercise:
This is an easy one—each night, write down three positive things that happened during the day and why they occurred. For example, “I enjoyed a walk because the weather was perfect.” A 2014 Journal of Clinical Psychology study found that this reduces stress by training your brain to look for positives. Takes 5 minutes; pair it with your other bedtime routines to help build the habit and notice how it makes you feel.
Gratitude Jar:
At the end of each day, write one thing you’re grateful for on a piece of paper, add it to a jar, and then at the end of the week, pull them out and reread them. There’s evidence from positive psychology that suggests this boosts mood and counters stress. Keep a small jar on your desk for easy access or in the kitchen if you want the whole family to join in.
Gratitude Letter:
Write a heartfelt letter thanking someone who’s impacted you, even if you don’t send it. A 2016 study in the Journal of Happiness Studies showed that this reduces stress by encouraging human connection. Try writing one every week—it takes 10 minutes max and doubles as a bonding tool if you share it. Imagine receiving a letter like that! Nice.
Gratitude Meditation:
Spend 5 minutes daily focusing on something or someone you’re thankful for, visualizing the details as vividly as possible. A 2019 Mindfulness study found that this lowers stress by increasing heart rate variability. The free Insight Timer app can help you meditate or practice mindfulness during your morning walk or commute.
Gratitude Affirmations:
Each morning, say three things you’re grateful for out loud, e.g., “I’m thankful for my health, my family, and this new day.” This simple practice rewires neural pathways for positivity, per a 2016 NeuroImage study. Take 1 minute and try it—do it while making your coffee or tea.
RESOURCES:
Three books to check out: click on the book’s name for more details.
"The Gratitude Diaries" by Janice Kaplan
Kaplan chronicles her year-long experiment practicing gratitude, blending personal stories with research on its stress-reducing effects. Practical and relatable for anyone seeking a narrative-driven approach to more gratitude in their life."Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier" by Robert Emmons
Written by a leading researcher on gratitude, this book delves into the science of gratitude, exploring its impact on stress and overall well-being. It offers plenty of actionable exercises backed by Emmons’ studies."The Book of Joy" by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams
This book explores joy through conversations between two spiritual leaders, emphasizing gratitude as a stress-relieving practice. Its warmth and wisdom resonate with readers seeking a better understanding of gratitude.
Three podcasts to check out: click to listen.
The Happiness Lab: "The Power of Gratitude"
Host Dr. Laurie Santos explores the science of gratitude with guests like Robert Emmons, sharing practical tips on how it reduces stress along the way.The Rich Roll Podcast “The How of Happiness: Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsk on Connection, Gratitude, Kindness, …”
Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a pioneering researcher in the field of happiness studies, a bestselling author, and a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside. This conversation delves into the cutting-edge science of happiness, debunking common myths and revealing evidence-based strategies for a more fulfilling life. They discuss her groundbreaking research on social connection and gratitude.The Mel Robbins Podcast: “The Science of Gratitude and 6 Surprising Ways You’re Getting it Wrong.”
Mel delves into the research on gratitude and discovers that gratitude is a critical life skill, and yet most people practice it wrong. Yup, according to research, there are four essential elements of genuine gratitude. Without all 4, you can’t unlock the powerful physiological, neurological, and psychological benefits of genuine gratitude. Listen in and discover how to do it right.
I hope these Performance Minded tips and other resources are helpful. If you have any topic suggestions or questions, please don't hesitate to reach out. Cheers!
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity... it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
—Melody Beattie
